No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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