Just fell off a train. Bad.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
