Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
