I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
