id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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