Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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