WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
