porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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