So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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