Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
