i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
