Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
