You're my little dorito
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
