I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
