# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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