I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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