"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
