My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
