Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They have beer where we have blood.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
