The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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