i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
