The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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