the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
