maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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