Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
