covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You pole danced in your parka.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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