arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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