So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
