No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You took a bar mat shot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
