she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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