she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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