he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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