I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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