I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
