i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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