Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
