i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
