I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
