They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
