omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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