you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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