Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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