So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
