So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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