were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
