Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
