I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
