Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
