Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
