What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
