Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
