I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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